Essay #1 – Sight
*** THIS IS THE FIRST SUBMISSION, SCROLL DOWN FOR REVISION ***
Dan Burkhardt English 101 Dr. Harrison 9/5/08
My first summer, this past one, was the first that I have had with my girlfriend Jill. Although we did spend a lot of time together, I hadn’t been very easy at certain points because we worked opposite schedules and we live about 30 minutes from each other so the incredible rise in gas prices became a monetary issue, which affected everything else. Of course I am stating some of the difficult things that we encountered and not explicitly, at this moment, mentioning the amazing times that we had together when it worked out, but these facts set the premise to the reason why my picture is in existence.
I had an idea one day while I was at work, to go to a place that I had once been before called “The Pinnacle”. I had not been to this place in long time, maybe in about 3 or 4 years, but I remembered the vista very explicitly. I remembered that “The Pinnacle” was along the Appalachian Trail out in the central part of the state near Harrisburg. It was a hike to the top of a mountain, which took about 2 hours or so, and from my memory at the time, that it wasn’t very difficult. I remembered that at the end of the trail there was a massive rock face that had an overlook over a valley and a cave that you could walk into just down the cliff a little ways. I thought of the fact that I had not been able to go to beach at all with her and that we had not been able to vacation together or anything like that, so I decided to see if she wanted to take a trip, just the two of us, and that “The Pinnacle” seemed like a very easy going, memorable thing to do that would not cost that much at all.
I looked up the information and set up the date with her and began to gather the right gear for the trip, a hiking backpack, tent, food supplies and things like that. I picked her up at her house and we began the trip out to Hamburg, which was about an hour and a half from where we were. The ride was nice; we drove down the highway for most of the way with all the windows down and the moon roof open. The deafening blast of all that wind became silent over time. I became distracted along the way, thinking about the natural beauty of our state. She fell asleep, as she usually does on long car rides, and our trip went by relatively quickly.
We arrived at the Hamburg reservoir entrance, which was at the base of the mountain and began unpacking our things. With a quick double check that we had the food and gear we needed, we set out to begin our hike along the trail. The weather was beautiful, sunny and warm and probably about 80 degrees when we arrived. The air in the woods was as it always is, thick, damp and full of the wonderfully rich smell of foliage. The road we walked upon seemed especially dark, darker then it should have been for that time of the day when the sun had been shining so intensely. This fact caused me to comment about it and wish aloud that it would not rain during our trip. Our hike began about 3 hours before the sun was going to set and so we had more then enough time to get to the top and set up camp for the night and make the necessary adjustments in case of any inclement weather.
We entered the trail at the head, which started just behind a yellow gate that blocked the entrance of any unauthorized vehicles. The first section was just basically a dirt road and about 300 yards long, leading away from the entrance of the parking lot where we had been. The trail began through the woods and at first the climb was not steep or difficult at all, but after about 20 minutes of hiking, the ground rose before us to about a 50% incline. We both had to stop a couple of times catch our breath, but despite the steep trail and very unfriendly looking rocks we had to climb over at times, we pushed through it and we reached the first overlook without too much difficulty.
The vista was one that I had not seen in a very long time, and Jill had never seen anything like it. Although this was just the first stop along our destination, the view was amazing nonetheless. We walked up to the spot where the gray wash limestone rocks protruded sharply out of the brown earth and jumped over a small gap towards the spot where the rock ledge dropped off, and existed no more. We both looked out over the valley. The green tops of the distant expanse of trees looks like a massively endless carpet of colored cotton. Its deceptive nature could almost fool you into jumping out over the cliff on to it, with the promise that you would be able to land softly and walk to the other side. A quick glance down the face of the cliff begs to differ. You begin to realize how menacingly pushy the wind could be if it wanted to and double-check your footing. The huge boulders that had once been apart of the gray wash limestone face lay at the base of the drop off, a reminder of the physical reality that is gravity. Looking back out across these tree tops, the eye can see until visible light has been refracted so many times that it can no longer produce a clear image and fades into a gray haze. But the haze must be at least 20 miles away, an assumption anyone might make based on the relativity of their current position. The outline of the valley rim, which lays black and motionless in the horizon, towers above anything else visible to the eye. We turned back toward the trail, once again crossing a small divide between the dirt and the cliff face, and began our hike down the trail to complete the second half of our trip.
The rest of hike out to “The Pinnacle” was mostly uneventful, as is usually a good thing while hiking through the wilderness. The last thing a hiker wants is a surprise, as there are few good ones in the middle of the woods. Although we both heard and commented on the rumbling of thunder in the distance, we had faith that it would not hit us before we set up camp and had a chance to take a good look at what we had been working towards.
We arrived at “The Pinnacle” some time later. The view from this vantage point had a few distinct qualities that the first one did not. For one, it was protruding from the mountain itself, which made your range of vision along the horizon miles and miles wider. The second most obvious thing was that this cliff was much higher in elevation and thus higher above the trees, which made everything below look so much smaller and much less tempting to step out on. The distance again faded into that haze but the view of the valley’s rim mountains was much more focused, as we had gotten closer to it then we had been previously. Just as we arrived, some light rain passed overhead which, in conjunction with the sunset, made a beautiful rainbow appear along the top of a large hill that sat directly to our right. The rainbow faded and with it the storm passed overhead and we were no longer in danger of having to deal with any inclement weather. We walked back along the trail a little bit and decided on a spot to set up camp for the night. After we had done this, we ate and then walked back out to the rock face we had arrived at a short while earlier. The night was a perfect 75 degrees or so, with slight humidity. The stars were out in full force, we were miles away from any major sources of light pollution and we could see 360 degrees and almost any constellation we thought of. We sat, talking and admiring these stars, losing track of all time and then walked back to camp to retire for the night a while later.
The next morning, we packed everything up and then walked again back out to the cliff and sat, looking into the early morning horizon. This time our eyes could see for what seemed like miles further and the sun shone with all of its greatness in an open sky, cloudless and a deep shade of blue. Birds soared over the tops of the endless trees and cars appeared as tiny specs along the roads that carved out the farmland that lay before us in the distance. Every mile or so was a small hill, very tiny in comparison to our current location but large compared to the farmland that it rose from. This was a common sight in the distance and we began to take pictures of these sights. One of the pictures taken is the picture that I brought into class, that I felt most strongly about when thinking about the sense of sight. This image, for me, brings back that sense of amazement at the sheer size of the earth and all of the landmasses that make it up but also of my own extreme frailty compared to it. Most importantly though, it is a reminder that for the final chapter of our summer, Jill and I had been able to enjoy these sights together and that our mutual experience brought us closer together then we had been before.
Narrative essay assignment, before and after writing:
My writing goals in this assignment are to describe in great detail the events that took place prior to the taking of the photograph that I have presented so that the reader may understand why I chose this picture to represent the sense of sight, and why I feel strongly about it. The function that this writing serves is to tell a story about the image and to help the reader understand all about the feelings associated with it. This is a narrative style of writing. I think that those most likely to read this are my classmates but also, anyone that may be interested in the experience of hiking or seeing more of nature.
I think I may have achieved my goals because I feel as though the sights I have described can accurately portray my experience related to this picture. I think that a person, who has not spent a lot of time in nature, shouldn’t have a difficult time accurately visualizing the scene that I have described. I feel pretty confident that I have been able to relate this experience to another person and also spark an interest so that they might want to experience this for themselves.
My focus question is: What do you think is the most important thing that I need to improve to become a better, more effective writer?
*** THIS IS THE REVISION ***
Dan Burkhardt
Professor Harrison
College Writing – 101
5 September 2008
A Trip Like No Other
One day, in the middle of this past summer, I felt like I needed a getaway. I had been working close to forty hours a week at a job that was enjoyable, but ultimately burned me out. The scheduling of my work hours had been the opposite of my girlfriend, Jill, for most of the summer, she worked nights and I worked days. We both felt like our free time had been much more limited then we thought it would be when school let out. I began to imagine different places we could go for an escape that would prove to be a great experience, something a bit out of the norm but enjoyable to both of us. After some careful consideration of various things, and after talking it over, we decided that we wanted to go somewhere for a hiking trip. The name of a place I had been once before stuck out in my mind, The Pinnacle.
While doing some research on the Internet, I came across a few web sites that talked about the trail, as well as some of the recommended camping areas and places to stop. Much of the feedback spoke about the beauty of the hike and the great experiences people while visiting. Overall it had been highly recommended, however, there was one comment that did not conform. It included a link for the first line, and in the second the author had left a suggestion; “Whatever you do, do not camp near the summit. I have never been there over night but after reading this article, I never will.”
I followed the link to the article and happened upon a local news website for the town of Hamburg, PA. The article, from 2003, was the story of a mother and daughter who took a backpacking trip to the summit for an overnight trip. They planned on hiking back in the morning but the next day, did not return. When 24 hours passed without a phone call and no returned messages, the husband and father became worried and decided to place a phone call to the local police, to see if they could check if the car was still parked at the beginning of the trail. Due to recent parking issues, park officials had been enforcing a “no overnight parking” ordinance. As soon as the woman’s husband spoke to the desk clerk, he discovered that a ticket had been issued to a vehicle with the same license plate he was checking on. An officer was dispatched to check if the car was still present. After some time, the husband received a call back with the message that it didn’t appear to have been disturbed. Immediately a search team was called to hike the trail and locate the two, but after hours of searching, on foot and with a rescue helicopter, the two could not be found. It was three days before the bodies of the mother and daughter were discovered at the base of the summit. They had both been shot with what was later determined to be a hunting rifle, and thrown off the highest cliff on the mountain.
The incident shocked me, but after some rationalization, I decided that this happened quite some time ago and that we were probably not in any danger. Still, in the back of my mind, the fact that the case was still open and no suspect had ever been named caused me some discomfort. “Plenty of people hike this trail every year” I thought. “If this is the only incident in existence, then we’ll be just fine.”
Over the next few days, we set a date and began gathering the right gear for the trip. Making a stop at the sporting goods store, I picked up things like a backpack, rain gear, toilet paper and various other camping necessities. When the day arrived, I picked Jill up at her house and we began the trip out to Hamburg. The ride was nice; we drove down the highway with all of the windows down and the moon roof open. The deafening blast of all that wind became silent over time. My thoughts wandered while driving, thinking about the natural beauty of our state and the landscape I rarely pay attention to. Jill fell asleep, as she usually does on long car rides and the time passed quickly.
We pulled up to the parking area at the base of the mountain and began unpacking our things. With a double check that the necessary food and gear was present, we prepared to begin our hike along the trail. The weather seemed to be in our favor: sunny, warm and only a handful of scattered cumulonimbus clouds hung overhead. The air in the heavily wooded area was characteristically welcoming. The thick, damp and wonderfully rich smell of foliage filled the forest in a very familiar fashion. The road we walked upon seemed especially dark; darker then it should have been when the sun was shining so intensely. This caused me to vocalize my hope that it would not rain during our trip. Leaving a sufficient amount of time between our entrance and the setting of the sun, we had three hours to hike to the top and set up camp.
Hiking to the vista was mostly uneventful, as is usually a good thing while moving through the wilderness. The last thing a hiker wants is a surprise, and there are few good ones in the middle of a forest. Pushing through some of the steepest parts of the heavily beaten path, within an hour, the worst was over. The trail took on a more leisurely attitude, winding just slightly along a ridge through dense deciduous woodland. We both heard and commented on the rumbling of thunder in the distance, but in spite of this, we had faith it would not pass over before we set up camp, hopefully having enough time to allow our eyes a feast on the view we had been working towards.
***
The Pinnacle vista is one that these eyes have not seen in a very long time, and one that Jill has never experienced before. Upon arriving, we walk up to the area where the gray wash limestone rocks begin protruding sharply out of the earth. Jumping over a small gap between two submerged boulders, we move toward the spot where the rock ledge drops off, solid ground giving way to the empty air. Upon glancing at this I am briefly reminded of the troubling story on the Internet. Without any control over my own thoughts, a vivid, unwelcome scene of unimaginable horror unfolds before my eyes. I am thinking of how the rocks we currently stand upon bore silent witness to such atrocities. Forcing these thoughts aside, giving no outward indication that they had been entertained, I turn to her. My mood experiences a sudden lift by the spectacle of her excitement. We both look out over the valley, commenting about the beauty of the world before us. The green tops of the distant expanse of trees looks like a massively endless carpet of colored cotton. The deceptive nature of this sight seems to ensure a soft landing should one feel so inclined to take a leap; however, a quick glance down the face of the cliff begs to differ. I begin to realize how menacingly pushy the wind can be when it wants. Huge boulders that were once part of the massive limestone face lay at the base of the drop off, a reminder of the physical, inescapable reality that is gravity. I double-check my footing. Looking back out across these tree tops and into the horizon, our eyes can see until visible light has been refracted so many times that it can no longer produce a clear image and fades into a haze of gray and blue. An outline of the valley rim lays black and motionless on the horizon, towering above anything else visible. Just as we arrive, some light rain passes overhead. In conjunction with the beginning of a sunset, the drizzle creates a spectacular rainbow upon the ridge of a large hill that sits to our right in the valley. The rainbow fades, and with it, the storm passes overhead. Though weather can be very unpredictable at higher elevations, it now seems as though the danger of a rainstorm has passed. Our eyes can now see for what seems like miles further and the sun shines with all of its might in an open sky; cloudless and a rich shade of blue. Birds soar over top of the seemingly incalculable distance of trees, and cars appear as tiny specs, slowly moving along roads that carve out the farmland. Every mile or so is a hill, very tiny in comparison to our current geography; however, large compared to the farmland it rises from. This is a common sight in the distance and we both at once begin to capture these moments with our cameras.
***
After a short while, we back tracked along the trail settled on a spot to set up camp for the night. The sun began to fade and with it, a final, fleeting shade of red cast a glow over the mountain. A moment later, night engulfed the forest with its curtain as if a blindfold had been placed over the sun. I began to notice that almost as soon as the sky went black, an unexpected chill had fallen over the woodland. It felt as though a cold front had rolled in and the temperature dropped what seemed like 15 degrees within an hour. Hastily, we set up the tent, built a fire and ate the dinner that had been packed. Once the camp had been cleaned up, we left everything as it were and took a short walk back to the rock face we had arrived at earlier.
The stars were out in full. Miles away from any major sources of light pollution, the sight that lay before us was one that could not be held from our suburban neighborhoods. 360 degrees around us, the sky was clear, and almost any constellation we thought of could be seen. We sat, talking and admiring the sky for a while, and then walked back to camp to retire for the night.
Upon arriving, our good spirits took a sharp turn. The first thing we noticed was that the fire we had left burning had been completely extinguished. Upon closer inspection I realized that it was not just out, but cold, as if we had never made one to begin with. This eerie phenomenon sent shivers down my spine, but outwardly, I made sure my body language would not be cause for alarm. Building a new fire, my mind raced with questions about how the first one managed to disappear. Jill walked away to get some items that she needed to brush her teeth. Quickly and urgently, she called for me to come and take a look at our tent. Upon arrival, she pointed to the door, which was wide open and completely unzipped. Directing both of our flashlights toward the inside, it became visible that everything we packed had been strewn about, and that our bags lay completely deflated. Temporarily frozen, cautious horror engulfed my entire body. My feet would not budge from their positions. A distinct unwelcoming feeling throbbed in my gut. Typically, skepticism is how I react to the topic of ghosts. In that moment, my mind raced, recreating the words of the comment, as well as the article about the missing family. Jill began to shake. Observing a look of fear and confusion in her eyes, I realized that mine been rendered unable hide those same emotions. In a hushed voice she asked what we should do. Forcing my throat to open once again, I replied with a sobering realization; “We hiked all the way out here and its way too dark and unsafe to be attempting a hike back at night.”
The night was mostly sleepless for the both of us. Every rustling of leaves on the ground or sudden burst of wind through the trees became an unexplainable movement. We jumped at each sound until very early in the morning, eventually passing out from exhaustion. We finally woke when the sun shone through the trees, graciously illuminating the tent. There was no explanation for the experience we had that night. I never told her about the article. It was easier to joke about the animals living in the woods, that they must have really wanted our scent for going to such lengths. Whether or not the incident had been a result of spirits, or simply curious woodland creatures, I know that as a matter of cautiousness, at no time will I be spending the night in those woods again.
Dan Burkhardt
Dr. Harrison
English 101
5 September 2008
Goals
My goal for this assignment is to improve my usage of the narrative form of writing, to tell a story about the picture I have chosen. I would like to use factual information to visually describe the landscape, but I would also like to infuse a fictional tale which I plan on making up as I go along. I think that the story of the hike alone does not necessarily have an attention grabbing plot, and by joining the two together, I will be able to more efficiently cater to my audience. An audience that will be interested in this type of writing would be an outdoor enthusiast, someone who likes to read suspense or crime stories or someone that would like to know more about the experience of hiking.
I achieved my goals for this writing assignment by describing the visual elements that I found most intriguing along my trip, and incorporating a fictional story line which provided a plot to keep my readers interested. The overall goal of this writing was met, which was to provide a visual element to the tale. This was, I believe, enhanced, by the fictional element which did not interfere with, but added to the experience of being in the woods and camping.
Focus Question
How could I improve upon the flow of paragraphs and ideas in my writing?
